Grrrr!

I've been burying myself away, and that's generally not good. As the month has progressed, I have found myself thinking more and more about the applications I have out there and about my board game. The result has been that I have found distractions closer to home: things to edit and revise, plans for when and with whom I will play bridge at the Los Angeles regional, anything to avoid thinking about the next couple of weeks.

See, schools take a couple weeks to review applications and decide which applicants get interviews, and we are rapidly approaching the point at which one will have had two weeks. Another is coming close on the heels of that first one. Then there is a two-week window in which I want a letter. The first letters are offers of interviews, and only after those are sent and enough interviews scheduled does the school send out the letters thanking the other couple hundred for applying. Every day I don't get a letter means my chances go down.

Add to that my game. The company received my submission on the last day of January and indicated that it would be back to me in three to four weeks. Doing the math, four weeks is up on Monday, so once more I am sitting at home, hoping. I suppose it is good, in this case, that I didn't get it quickly, though. Evaluating a game takes time, provided there is any promise in its design (you see, I am rationalizing now, but at least I know it). Had I gotten a quick reply regarding a game such as mine, the news would almost certainly have been, "Sorry, it just has no chance." The longer it takes, the better.

So here I am, caught between opposite forces timed to crash down upon me at once. If all goes well, of course, I will get an interview that leads to a tenure-track job, secure in the knowledge that not only will I have a stable paycheck, but a supplemental check from the sale of my game (though that would probably not start happening until next year since game companies already have their 2005 lineup).

April is no longer the cruelest month.